


One Shot

by KawaiiBoushi



Category: Persona 4
Genre: F/M, again with the uncreative titles sorry, death mentions, reposted from tumblr w slight editing bc wishy wants more of my stuff here lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-20 22:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11344263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KawaiiBoushi/pseuds/KawaiiBoushi
Summary: A gun is a tool for self-defense. Kanji learns the cost self-defense can come at.





	One Shot

“H-holy…” Kanji’s eyes were wide with horror, his entire body shaking. “He’s…h-he’s…”

Naoto slowly lowered her still-smoking gun. Her hands were almost steady as she holstered it. “Yes.”

The man had crumpled like a doll discarded, his own gun falling to the ground with a deceptively harmless clatter. Naoto coughed. Gunpowder and blood were unpleasant enough smells on their own, but together they were almost unbearable.

“Y-you…” Kanji looked as if he wished he could take the word back the moment it left his mouth, but it was too late. It hung heavy between them, and they stared at each other in silence for a long minute before Naoto turned away and pulled her phone out.

“This is Shirogane. Yes. Suspect down.”

They didn’t speak for hours, not to each other. They gave their individual accounts to the local police, and Kanji was dismissed while Naoto stayed behind to fill out paperwork. The precinct was only a short walk from their hotel, and Kanji jogged the entire way, trying not to replay what he’d just witnessed over and over in his mind’s eye.

An hour and one long shower later, as he was forcing himself to watch some inane game show or another, the door to their room slowly opened and Naoto entered. Their eyes met and Kanji quickly looked away. Naoto moved to retrieve her night clothes from her suitcase.

“I’m going to get cleaned up,” she announced.

Kanji only nodded. He heard Naoto sigh as she entered the bathroom, and it was a few minutes after the water shut off before she emerged, pajama-clad and damp towel folded neatly in her arms. Setting it down on the desk chair, she moved to stand in front of the TV, turned it off, and fixed her gaze on Kanji.

“Are we going to talk?”

He didn’t look up at her. “About what?”

Naoto didn’t miss a beat. “I killed a man tonight.”

Kanji flinched. There it was. “Do you have to be so…blunt?”

“You saw it with your own eyes,” Naoto pointed out. “I suspect no amount of sugar-coating will change the image in your mind.” When Kanji didn’t answer, she sat down next to him on the bed, though she left a few inches of space between them. “Well?”

“Back…in the TV world,” Kanji managed after a short time. “First time I saw one of us – Yosuke, I think – go down, it scared the hell outta me. But then Yukiko-san had ‘im back up real quick, and – and I got used to that. So for a second, I wanted to pull out a revival bead or somethin’, bring this guy back, but – but then I remembered. That…ain’t how it works out here. S’when it hit me I just watched someone die.”

Naoto nodded slowly. Before she could say anything, Kanji asked, “Was that – I mean, have you ever –?”

“Once.” Folding her hands in her lap, Naoto took a deep breath and elaborated, “During our last year of high school, when I took that case during winter break. I presumed it would be open-and-shut, but things took a turn for the worse and I had to act in self-defense. I was not aiming to kill. My aim was off.”

“Oh,” was all Kanji said.

“I…did not take it well,” she continued. “It was all I could do not to break down in front of officers I assumed had seen – perhaps done – much worse. As soon as possible, I went back to the estate, and Grandpa could tell before I even said anything. He said he could see it in my eyes. We talked for a long time about…everything. What it meant, why it happened, his own experiences. I almost considered not going back to school because I feared that when I returned to Inaba, everyone would somehow know, and would think…” Naoto trailed off. Another minute or two passed before she found her voice again.

“This is an unfortunate reality of my line of work. People die. I do not presume to be in a position to judge who does or does not deserve to live, but I must be willing to act when necessary. Killing is never my first choice, but when my life – or that of an officer, or a civilian, or someone I hold dear – is endangered by a violent criminal, and I must react in a split second…I do not have the luxury of aiming to disarm only. It follows that a casualty may be an unintended consequence. I do not, by any means, enjoy it. I simply cannot allow myself to doubt my actions. I have to trust that, when all is said and done, I’ve saved more lives than I’ve –” She cleared her throat. “We are alive now. We would not be, had I been unable to stop him. I understand your reaction, but I…I hope you do not think any less of me.”

Naoto’s first kill had nearly sent her into a panic attack; as it was, she had spent far too long in the bathroom trying to remember how to breathe after her lunch had come back up at the sight of the body. Now, she just felt tired. Both men had been cruel, merciless killers who had already claimed multiple victims and would not have thought twice about adding her to their body counts. Given the choice, Naoto would still prefer not to use lethal force, but she had come to accept that that wasn’t always an option. Her job was to protect the innocent and bring justice to the guilty. In order to save lives, she would make the same decision she had tonight every time. Remembering this was usually enough to prevent her from dwelling on it.

“No, I mean, that’s not…” Kanji said quietly. “I don’t…I know it happens, with cops and stuff, and I know you’ve had to shoot at people before, but I never…put two and two together ‘til now, and thought that you might…it just caught me off guard, is all.”

“I see.”

“Naoto.” He finally looked her in the eyes, placing a hand on her shoulder. “It’s – you’re not like them. You do what you have to do to keep innocent people from gettin’ hurt. Of course I don’t think any less of you, I swear. And…if you ever wanna talk about it, you can, but if you don’t want to…or if you don’t need to…I get it.”

Closing her eyes, Naoto leaned against Kanji, and he wrapped his arm around her. “Thank you,” she murmured. She suspected he was still more shaken than he was letting on, and she regretted that he had been there to see it happen, but his words alleviated a great tension from her back. “And if you wish to…discuss…”

“Nothin’ else to say,” Kanji declined her offer. “Don’t worry about me. I just…wanna get some rest.”

He laid down slowly, taking Naoto with him. It took a bit of maneuvering, but they managed to pull the comforter over both of them without having to sit up.

“We should be home by tomorrow evening,” Naoto said, scooting so that she and Kanji were eye-to-eye. “I have a bit more unfinished business at the police station, but I should wrap up in time to make it to that ramen shop you liked for lunch before we leave.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Slowly kissing her good night, Kanji reached behind himself to switch off the lamp.

“Sweet dreams,” Naoto whispered, waiting much longer than usual for him to drift off before she allowed herself to follow suit.

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually inspired by a still-unpublished fic I finished like...a year ago...? I held off on posting it for a few reasons but keep an eye out for that soon. I'm trying to space Baby Steps out so hopefully my next one-shot will tide y'all over.


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